Bad Jokes 😂

Here are some funny jokes to give you a laugh, updated frequently:

2014

Q: Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
A: Because they are always stuffed!

Q: What has a neck but no head?
A: A bottle.

Q: Why do sharks live in salt water?
A: Pepper water makes them sneeze.

Q: Why didn't the skull go to the dance?
A: He didn't have any body to go with!

Q: What happens when frogs park illegally?
A: They get toad.

Q: What kind of flower is on your face?
A: Tulips!

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look, I'm changing!

2015

Q: What washes up on tiny beaches?
A: Microwaves!

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Sham-BOO!

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: Put it on my bill!

Q: What goes up and down but does not move?
A: Stairs

Q: What did the fork say to the knife?
A: "You're looking sharp!"

Q: Why didn't Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: What is gray, has four legs, a tail, and a trunk?
A: A mouse on vacation.

Q: What starts with E and ends with E, but only contains one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop.

Q: Why was the little strawberry crying?
A: His parents were in a jam.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: With tomato paste!

Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt!

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!

Q: Why do ghosts make such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have so much spirit!

Q: Why did the detective duck get an award?
A: Because he quacked the case!



Q: What happened to the turkey who got in a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends.

Q: What's a drummer's favorite vegetable?
A: Beets.

Q: Why did the clown go to the doctor?
A: He felt a little funny.

2016

Q: What happens when you step on an orange?
A: You hurt its peelings

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs.

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Q:What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
A: CASHEW!

Q: What happens when a vampire attacks a snowman?
A: Frostbite

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team

Q: Where do cows go on their first date?
A: To the moooovies.

Q: Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform??
A: New Jersey.

Q: Why were the suspenders arrested?
A: For holding up a pair of pants!

Q: Why did the fish have a bad report card?
A: Because all of his grades were under “C”

Q: Why do owls always get invited to parties?
A: Because they're such a hoot!

Q: Where do books sleep?
A: Under their covers!

Q: What was the musician’s favorite pastry?
A: A drumroll

Q: What do you feed a disappearing cat?
A: Evaporated milk

Q: What is a knight’s favorite fish?
A: Sword fish

Q: Why did the window go to the doctor?
A: It had panes.

Q: Why don’t birds follow directions?
A: They like to wing it!

Q: What do you call a pig with no friends?
A: A boar!

Q: Why did all the students eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Q: What building has the most stories?
A: The library!

Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.

Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: Because they’re always stuffed.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crumby!

Q: Who can shave six times a day, but still have a beard?
A: A barber.

Q: Which animal is the laziest?
A: The dead one

Q:What's a sailors least favorite food?
A: Leeks